Lady Lessons

A thought stroke me earlier this week - How do I become a girl?

Last Wednesday, I had gone out to replenish our groceries when a silver fox Aston Martin drove by. To my astonishment, I said “Shit! Ang gara naman no'n!” (Shit! That [car] is so fancy!) Then a young guy standing next to me, in what seemed like a medical uniform, said, “Ate, tomboy ka ba?" (Are you a tomboy?) He then tisked but I didn't respond. After a short while, he continued, "Sayang ka." (Then that's such a waste.)

Photo from Paramount Pictures

Photo from Paramount Pictures

Without trying to put things in a derogatory statement, I would like to say that, yes, I am not that feminine. Back in high school we had this new transfer student. We became really good friends but it took her some time to talk to me in the beginning because she said she had this small crush on me before. I always had this short hair back then and apparently, that made most people believe I was a lesbian. Back in college, a few of classmates had the very same misconception that they were so surprised when they saw me wear a skirt to school.

If you asked me what my favorite Disney animated movies is, you wouldn’t find it among the Disney princess movies. It’s Treasure Planet. If you asked me what my favorite color is, it’s neither Pink nor Purple. It’s Navy Blue. If you asked me what my favorite series is, God knows I haven’t watched a single episode of Pretty Little Liars or Gossip Girl. I like to shop at Uniqlo’s Men section (because their free flowing shirts are so cool) and yeah, like Cady Heron, I have no idea how to put eye liner, I don’t wear lipstick but I love Math.

But I am a girl. I know so because I am so. Who said a girl can't be into cars? Who said a girl can only like Barbies and make-up? We live in a modern world where men, women and lgbtq coexist. However, I firmly believe that I, in fact including everybody else, don't owe anybody an obligation to prove so.

Photo from Eurimages

Photo from Eurimages

I mean, what if I really was a lesbian, what is so wrong with that? It really grinds my gears that people always ask me of my gender as if I had sinned or as if I have a disease.  A lot of my most reliable and most brilliant friends are part of the LGBT community and I've always been very proud that I could always count on them. 

Unfortunately, in a third world country like the Philippines, there are still plenty of people who find the words like faggot and lesbians as particularly amusing and acceptable insults. Sadly, I live in a country where when a girl is stunned to see an Aston Martin, she is considered a waste.

Well, to every girl who is reading this post, here's what I wanna say. Slouch if you wanna slouch. Wear make up as often as you want to and wear no make up as often as you're lazy to do so. Shave, don't shave. Grow a mustache if you want to. Above all, speak if you wanna speak. It took me three days to organize my thoughts. I don't want you to bear the same burden of having to think what in the world you did wrong to be considered such a waste. 

Overall, I just wanna say that you do you, because you're awesome and way more priceless than an Aston Martin. 

xx Tienne

PS: Just in case that guy reads this, grow up kid. Otherwise, you are gonna end up a waste.